Tips and Ticks for The Shy Bride and Groom
Are you a bit nervous about your wedding day? Maybe the thought of standing in front of 100 of your guests gives you knots in your stomach? Are you usually one to shy away from the limelight?
For those who are a bit shier, a wedding day where you are the center of attention can bring with it trepidation!
As a wedding photographer I get to work with the most incredible couples and being a bit shy and nervous in front of the camera or in front of your guests during your ceremony is a very common thing!
I’ve put together this blog to help with those couples who tend to be on the shier side. Following these tips can help put your nerves at ease and allow you to enjoy your big day!
Tip #1
Plan a private First Look and Vow Exchange
Most of us have experienced some level of stage fright at one time or another, so it is understandable that speaking freely in front of a large gathering of wedding guests might be something that is beyond your comfort level. Instead of saying your personally written vows during your ceremony, you can share them during your private and secluded First Look.
By sharing personal vows the first time you see each other during the First Look you are in the privacy of a First Look moment which is only shared between you two and your photographer. In the privacy of this moment the emotions you feel upon seeing each other for the first time, or from listening to your partner’s personal vows can be more freely expressed. During your private first look you can have the privacy and intimacy to truly enjoy this moment with no distractions of being in front of a bunch of people.
Take a look at a few of the sweet moments below which capture First Looks with personal vows and see if it might be the perfect fit for your wedding experience!
Tip #2
Build in private rest moments for yourselves between the larger more public events
For a shier couple, the go-go-go feel of a wedding day which has all of its events flowing one moment to another can be a bit overwhelming.
Planning in fifteen or twenty minutes of private time for you and your partner to sneak off to a separate room to just be together can really break up the day and give you a bit of breathing room.
Some perfect places to add in these moments are just before the ceremony as your guests are arriving, just after the ceremony while the marriage license signing is getting organized, just before the grand entrance to your reception and in the evening just after your sunset portraits.
Tip #3
Choose a smaller bridal party with only your most intimate friends or family
Have you ever noticed that you feel a bit more confused and overwhelmed when there is a lot of motion around you than when you are in a quiet, calm space? A lot of motion tends to just feel confusing, even if you aren’t necessarily in a confusing situation, so cutting down on the amount of extra motion around you on the morning of your wedding will automatically make things feel less confusing and overwhelming.
When you have a large bridal party during your getting ready hours you will have a lot of bodies moving around your space getting their hair and makeup done, making drinks, asking questions and dressing. All of this motion tends to make an already busy morning feel even busier.
If you pair down on your bridal party to just a select few of your closest friends or family, you will have less motion around you, leaving you with a wedding morning which feels more calm.
Also, especially for those who are a bit shier, having just those who know you the best will give you a support system that knows your personality and can cater their help to what they know will be best for you and provide you with the perfect solid foundation to lean on if you need it!
Tip #4
Don’t be afraid to break Tradition
In today’s world weddings can be anything you want them to be! As a photographer who gets the privledge of attending over 30 weddings a year I see couples customizing weddings to fit their personalities in all sorts of ways.
Especially at your reception, if the numerous traditional reception activities which put you at the center of attention make you turn a little green at the thought, just skip it!
A reception doesn’t have to include all the traditional activities of the first dance, cake cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss or speeches surprisingly enough! You can choose those activities that are comfortable for you to enjoy and just cut out those which are too much.
Without all of those traditional activities you are also more free to just wander around your reception, having more time for those one-on-one conversations and interactions with your guests which in an otherwise crowded reception timeline you might not have time for!
Tip #5
Consider a Micro-Wedding!
Micro-Weddings are the perfect in-between for those who wouldn’t be comfortable in front of a guest list of 75+ guests but who also aren’t interested in a strict elopement where not even your best friend or parents get to witness your union.
Micro-Weddings often have anywhere from 5 to 30 attendees, depending on how strict the guest list criteria are. This amount of people tends to be much easier for a shier bride and groom to confront being in front of and will provide a very intimate wedding experience.
The other great thing about a Micro-Wedding is that you can go for an extra-epic location! Click here to see my guide for planning an elopement or micro wedding to help you in going this route for your wedding day.
Bonus Tip!
Make sure to include an engagement shoot in your wedding experience!
Most shier couples are especially nervous in front of a camera. The #1 way to calm those nerves is to schedule an engagement shoot.
Even though scheduling a time where for over an hour you’ll be having your photo taken might seem like the exact opposite way to make a shier bride and groom comfortable, trust me on this one, if you take the time to get all your camera-shy nerves out of the way during your engagement shoot, on your wedding day your portraits will be a breeze!
Your engagment shoot is also a really important time for you just as a couple to get comfortable with your photographer. A really great photographer will take the opportunity to get to know you and you’ll probably be surprised how much time you spend laughing and chatting as opposed to just posing and having your photo taken!
For a relaxed wedding experience, being comfortable around your photographer is a big component. Meeting your photographer on your wedding day isn’t the best opportunity to get to know each other as the timeline is chalk full of various activities and by the time portraits come around you haven’t the time to get to know each other like you do at your engagement session.
Trust me, ensuring your engagement session is a part of your wedding experience will go miles toward make you feel comfortable on your wedding day and being comfortable is the key to beautiful, candid portraits that really show off you!
I hope this blog helped you out if you had any fears about your wedding day and feeling a bit introverted by being the center of attention. If at any point you feel overwhelmed too, just find your partner, grab their hand and get lost in their eyes. They are always someone who can make you feel at home, so take advantage of that comfort and calm feeling you get when you are around them and you’ll be alright!
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