Interview: The Good and Bad of Wedding Planning
Whether you’re married or you're in the middle of planning for your wedding, you’ve probably realized that the planning process isn’t all fun and games. Sadly, even the most energetic and upbeat couples will still run into issues while planning their glorious day. The levels of difficulties and problems experienced are heavily impacted by who you are as a couple and the exact nature of the issue. For example, you may run into an issue with finding a photographer, but if the problem is quickly remedied then there’s no harm done. Simply an obstacle that had to be moved around.
I thought it would be helpful for those of you who are still in the planning stage to hear from some real-life couples about the hardest and easiest parts leading up to their marriage. This is not written to scare you, but to encourage you that it will be alright. Even though these couples did have to deal with some difficulties during their wedding planning, they also encountered some areas that we’re easy for them. I’m happy to report that the couple I interviewed who are already married are still happily together to this day, despite the difficulties they’ve faced!
The Married Couple
Sean and Alyssa
Married 2020
SEAN
Me: Sean, in your opinion, what were some of the hardest parts about planning the wedding and the events leading up to the “I do”?
Sean: Honestly, it was really hard for me know where I needed to help with the planning. I didn’t really have a “dream” for what my wedding would look like and that made it hard to decide on what I wanted out of the day. I also didn’t offer much help in the way of planning simply sue to not really being interested in that part of the event. Looking back that definitely made things harder for us.
Me: What else made planning your wedding day difficult?
Sean: While most of the wedding was paid for by family, we didn’t have a huge budget, so that made things difficult. We had some difficulty agreeing on where our money should go while budgeting as we both thought different things were more important. On top of that, we dealt with some indecision on what the right things to purchase were and then when we’d find an item we wanted to purchase we had difficulty pulling the trigger. Another difficulty was creating the guest list. We had a very small wedding, so selecting who was going to get invited and who wasn’t tough for both us.
Me: Was there anything that scarred you about getting married?
Sean: Yeah, I definitely got cold feet the day before the wedding. The weight of a lifetime of union hadn’t hit me till that point and it was a scary thought. I have no regrets about committing however, it was one of the best decisions of my life.
Me: Was there anything that was particularly easy leading up to the big day?
Sean: Finding the photographer was not something we struggled with, it kind of just worked out near the end. Alyssa and I also shared a similar vision for how we wanted the wedding to go, so that made creating the timeline easy for us. The major expenses were covered by our families which was a big blessing. We were concerned that me might have to borrow some money to make our wedding happen, so that was huge! We also didn’t have to worry about the food as we rented an AirBnB which had a full kitchen. Lucky for us, some of our family are great cooks and so the food wasn’t an issue either!
ALYSSA
Me: Alyssa, what did you find difficult about planning your wedding day?
Alyssa: We planned our wedding very last minute. That made things both more challenging and at the same time less challenging. Dress shopping was a struggle not only because of the short timeframe before the wedding but also because I didn’t want to spend a small fortune on something that I was only going to wear once.
Me: Was there any particular thing that made it difficult for you to plan the wedding?
Alyssa: Yes. Sean didn’t really have an interest in helping with the planning process, which made things difficult as I wanted Sean’s opinion, and he didn’t really want to get involved. Also, unlike most girls, I didn’t really have a dream wedding planned out in my head which made it hard to decide how the wedding should look and feel. Neither of us really had an idea of what we wanted out of this event except to be married at the end of it. I also found that I had to fight some of the traditional wedding “rules”; like having expensive flowers. I had a constant inflow of information and opinions from those trying to help me plan the wedding, which made it far more difficult for me to make decisions.
Me: Was there anything that made your planning experience easy?
Alyssa: The shorter timeframe before the wedding actually helped us, because it limited our options to choose from. Since we had a smaller wedding, moving people to and from event to event on the day of was a piece of cake. This was also because we rented an AirBnB as the venue! We had everything we needed onsite, and we have some great cooks in our communal family, which made the food super easy! In my opinion it was a great way to get the families to interact with each other, since we were all sleeping under the same roof!
The Planning Couple
Ayden and Jennifer
To-Be Married 2022
AYDEN
Me: Ayden, I know you’ve only been planning for a few months at this point, but what are some of the difficulties you’ve run into thus far?
Ayden: While Jennifer and I have only been at it for a few months, we’ve actually accomplished about 70% of the wedding planning. That said, we did have some difficulty with the venue. We didn’t want to spend a fortune and because we’re trying to plan the wedding in a shorter timeframe, finding a place we liked was difficult. The hardest part for me has been finding the time to plan the wedding with Jennifer. We both lead very busy lives right now and with the distance between us, it’s difficult to set up dedicated times to plan together. On top of that, we don’t want to spend all our time together planning, so splitting our time between planning and just being together has been a challenge.
Me: What have you found easy during your wedding planning?
Ayden: We were able to find both our photographer and videographer without much trouble. We already knew our photographer from past experiences and Jennifer was able to find a videographer easily enough. We were blessed by an offer from a friend to use their property for the wedding; that made venue shopping a lot easier than it would have been. For me, the easiest part has been staying excited about the wedding. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about it and smile with anticipation!
JENNIFER
Me: Hello Jennifer. I know that you and Ayden haven’t been planning for long, but I was hoping to hear what you’ve found unexpectedly difficult during you planning thus far.
Jennifer: So far planning has been a little more stressful than I anticipated. There are a lot more details than I expected to have to plan for and around, so that has made things a bit more difficult. The venue was also a bit of trouble. Because of our short timeframe and the busyness of this wedding season, finding a place within our budget and with availability was a problem. Luckily that all worked out in the end. The hardest part has definitely been setting aside time to plan the wedding due to the distance between us and the busyness of our lives.
Me: What have you found easy and enjoyable about planning your wedding?
Jennifer: Overall, the whole process has been a blast! Planning our honeymoon was probably one of the greatest parts thus far. We both share a lot of similar interest and passions and so we made sure that the places were going to stay align with the things that we like! It was also easy for us to find our photographer and videographer. The photographer we already knew and the videographer I met through the wonders of Facebook! I’d say the venue was the biggest blessing yet. We were worried about finding a place that would work for us and while the place offered to us by our friends isn’t exactly what we wanted, it was a huge help and saved us a huge amount of time and money! I’ve really enjoyed planning my wedding. I’ve had a dream since I was a child of what I wanted my big day to be like and it’s exciting to see it finally come to fruition!
Wedding planning is a time that will be full of joy, excitement and happiness but, there will also be times of anxiety and moments of difficulty. Even though both of these couples are at different stages of their relationships, neither of them regret anything they’ve been through together. The difficulties make the end result all the sweeter. I want this blog to be an encouragement to all those who are feeling like the struggles they’re going through only happen to them. They aren’t special to you and most couples experience the same feelings of anxiety and fear as you! So, if you’re in the midst of wedding planning right now and you’re freaking out, don’t worry! You’re not alone! From all of us married people to you, trust us, it gets better and easier as time goes on!
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