Ceremony Tips
Ceremonies in the year 2020 and beyond are no longer limited to the strict traditions of the past. Being a Pacific Northwest Photographer, I would guess that almost 80-90% of my couples opt for outdoor ceremonies that are anything but traditional.
Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing “bad” or “wrong” about a traditional church ceremony. My parents were married in their hometown church by a pastor who also baptized my father when he was born, how cool is that!? Tradition can be used and celebrated on a wedding day, and there is certainly something touching about a couple who decide to wed at a church that has been a central point in their lives.
What I am saying however, is that if a traditional ceremony isn’t quite your thing, don’t be afraid to go outside the box! Creating a custom ceremony is almost more the norm these days, so getting creative to make a ceremony which is truly unique to you as a couple is a fantastic alternative to the traditional cathedral wedding of the Hollywood movies.
Below I’ve collected a few of the more creative ways to customize your ceremony, and also added in a few tips you can use whether your ceremony is traditional or custom! Check them out and if you end up using one or two (or even all!) in your ceremony, I’d love to hear how it went for you!
Ceremony Tip #1
A great way to customize your wedding is to have a family member or someone close to you officiate. If your officiant isn’t a professional, tell them to put these two things in his/her notes:
1. Tell the audience they may be seated after the bride has finished walking down the aisle.
2. Step aside after announcing the first kiss.
Hiring a professional officiant is an almost guaranteed way to know that your ceremony will go smoothly, but sometimes it is more special for a person who has been significant in your life to officiate. With online certificates for ministry available to obtain in just a few minutes, it is super easy to have a family member or close friend become a minister and thus legally able to officiate your ceremony.
The most common place I’ve seen my couples get this certification is through Universal Life Church, a non-denominational church that gives legal ordination for free online, so if this is something that interests you check them out!
Now, as almost any of us have experienced, there can be a bit of trepidation and nervousness which crops up when you are speaking in front of a crowd, and depending on the size of your wedding, your family member or close friend who has agreed to be your wedding officiant might be speaking in front of upwards of 200 people! Most officiants, even professional ones, write notes to help with the stage fright, and when you are going over what type of things you’d like said at your ceremony, just make sure the two above things get written into those notes.
The most common mistake new officiants make is that they get so excited and nervous to start their speech and do a good job that they forget to let the guests know to take their seats after the bride makes her way down the aisle to her partner. I’ve literally seen an officiant do an ENTIRE 30-minute ceremony where the crowd stood the WHOLE time, just because he never told them they could sit!
You’d think this was an extreme example, but between all the weddings my husband Dom and I have photographed, this exact thing has happened in over 20 of them! Sometimes I’m able to catch the officiant’s eye and motion to them to let the guests sit, other times the bride leans in and tells him to pause so everyone can sit, but a few times everyone has just remained standing, which is both awkward and makes it difficult for most of the guests to see and enjoy the ceremony properly.
It’s a simple thing to add that note to tell everyone to sit, so just make sure that is in there and you’ll be good to go!
The second thing is more of a photographer’s preference, but for me I feel like it makes for a nicer “First Kiss” photo if the officiant has stepped to the side just before the kiss.
When the officiant is still directly behind the couple as they kiss, their head is exactly behind where the bride and groom are, so you sometimes have this sort of awkward image of the officiant’s head behind the couple’s kiss. If the officiant steps to the side (either side, it doesn’t matter whether left or right) then they are either just out of the frame of the First Kiss photo, or they are looking at the couple with a smile as the couple kiss.
Both of those I feel puts the attention on the couple’s kiss instead of the slightly blurry partial face just behind their heads. So if you prefer a cleaner and less distracting ‘First Kiss’ photo, mention to your officiant during rehearsal that you would prefer they stepped to the side as they announce you husband and wife.
See the head of the officiant behind the couple?
To me, it distracts from this beautiful moment.
A ‘First Kiss’ photo like this, where the officiant is just out of frame is much cleaner and lets the eye focus only on these two and this moment they shared.
Ceremony Tip #2
Hire a second photographer to cover at least your ceremony
Your ceremony is one of the most critical parts of your wedding photography, and the absolute BEST way to make sure every touching moment is fully documented is to have two photographers.
The simple fact of the matter is, one photographer cannot be photographing both partners at exactly the same time.
When you first walk down the aisle, even if you’ve had a first look, your groom is absolutely going to react to seeing you walk toward him during your ceremony. Normally, a photographer is focusing on the bride coming down the aisle, and then they have to twist or move very quickly to photograph the face of the groom as you continue to make your way toward him.
Many tiny moments of emotion may pass across a person’s face in the span of just a few moments, and the only way to ensure you’ll get a photo of all those emotions is to have one dedicated photographer who has their camera solely focused on your soon-to-be husband the entire time as you walk toward him.
Having two photographers means you’ll get the best shot of you walking down the aisle, and the best shot of his expression as you walk toward him- win win!
When my husband Dom and I photograph ceremonies together we have our positions down to a science and Dom gets this incredible shot of the groom’s face in between the bride and her father, or whoever is walking her down the aisle. It is my favorite shot of the entire ceremony, and is a shot you can only get when you have two photographers. If you only have one photographer in order to get this shot, you would have to sacrifice the shot of the front of the bride coming down the aisle: a photo almost no one wants to sacrifice.
Having two photographers also means less movement during your ceremony, which means less noise and less distraction. This is especially important with indoor ceremonies, when the feet of a photographer traveling from one side of the ceremony space to the other to capture the expressions of both bride and groom during vows can be distracting.
Most photographers offer wedding packages which have the option of adding on a second photographer for a full-day, half-day or even just a few hours. If you can budget it, having a second photographer for your ceremony will be money well spent!
For more information on second photographers and when to decide if a second shooter is necessary for your wedding, check out my Bridal Education blog about Second Photographers here.
Ceremony Tip #3
Add in guest participation to your ceremony
Most people choose to have a full wedding rather than elope because of the opportunity to invite friends and family that mean so much to them and who have been an integral part of their lives and the growth of their relationship. There are some really great ways to get your guests to participate in your ceremony which honors their involvement in your life and connects them to this big step you are taking together.
One of my favorite ways of doing this works especially well with small to medium sized weddings. At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, once the couple are both at the front, have the officiant take the rings and explain that they are just metal until the blessings and support of family and friends are imbued within them.
Have the officiant give the rings to a guest in the first row and instruct them to hold the rings for a second in their hands, saying a prayer, blessing or wish for the couple, then have them pass it on to the next guest. These silent blessings may continue as the officiant shares a verse, story or poem about weddings and marriage and the two of you share your personal vows.
By the time the ceremony gets to the point which the couple will exchange rings, have the best man collect the rings from the back row of guests. The officiant will note that the rings are now warm from the hands of all those who have placed their blessings upon the couple. As the officiant then gives the rings to the bride and groom, they should have the bride and groom take a moment to feel the warmth from all the love of those who have traveled here to see this union. From there, the ceremony can proceed as usual with the exchange of rings and first kiss.
Another unique way to acknowledge your guests is to have your officiant tell you to take a moment and turn outward to face your guests. They should instruct you to look upon them and recall all the wonderful effects these people have had on your life, and feel the love they now feel for you as you start this next journey together.
Yet another beautiful method of involving especially close friends or family is to invite a few of them to pick out a special bible verse, poem, or lyrics of a song which reminds them of you and your relationship, or which can act as a blessing for your future marriage together. Have a moment in your ceremony where a select few come up to say these to you and get ready for the emotion this moment will bring!
There are countless ways to customize a ceremony to include those you love, and above are just a few of my favorites.
Feel free to write me for more examples if you would like, you can find the link to contact me at the end of this blog!
The Bride and Groom looking on at their guests and remembering the impact each one had on their lives and their journey to find each other.
The Bride’s Sister reading a poem about love that reminds her of the love she and the groom share.
This was an image taken at the beginning of the “ring warming.”
Ceremony Tip #4
If you have any trouble getting the rings on your partner’s finger during the ceremony, don’t try to force it, allow them to push it on the rest of the way themselves after your vows are complete.
Your hands and especially fingers will most likely be a bit swollen on your wedding day from all the running around. In the summer especially your fingers will swell because of the heat and the fact that you are wearing much heavier clothing than you normally would in warm temperatures.
Slightly swollen fingers can make the ring exchange during the ceremony quite difficult. While you may have become adept at placing and removing your ring on your own finger, it is quite a difficult thing for your partner to do and if you start struggling with putting on your partner’s ring, this normally intimate and sweet moment can become a bit comical.
When you do the ring exchange, if the rings don’t slip easily on, just place it as far up the finger as you can easily do, and hold it there while you repeat after your officiant whatever formal vows you have chosen for the ring exchange.
Once the vows are said and before the first kiss your partner can then push the ring on themselves the remainder of the way to the base of their finger.
Ceremony Tip #5
For your First Kiss, let it linger just a bit longer than normal and as you part lips, keep your faces close together and let that “We’re Married!” smile spread over your lips! Celebrate in a big way as you exit and share a final kiss at the end of the aisle!
Doing the above may seem a bit elaborate, but if you incorporate this into your ceremony, just as you choreograph all other parts, you’ll end up with some truly spectacular images that will speak volumes about the excitement you share to start a new life together!
The slow kiss with a smile after can be practiced during your engagement shoot or during your pre-ceremony bridal portraiture (or on the couch during a Netflix and Chill night, why not!?) and allows your photographer to make sure to get a perfect photo of your first kiss during your ceremony.
Photographers are just people too, and thus mistakes can be made. By holding your kiss just a bit longer than you normally might, you give your photographer more than one split second to capture this critical moment of your wedding!
To add to the fun of your ceremony, you can also have your DJ or whoever is handling the music of your ceremony play an “exit" song for you to dance back down the aisle to. Your guests will be smiling and laughing as you celebrate your ceremony which will create images full of joy and elation to finish out your ceremony documentation!
The First Kiss!
That gorgeous post-kiss smile!
Such sweet emotion!
Pretty excited to be announced as Mr. and Mrs.!
This is actually a second kiss at the end of the aisle. The light was so much better back here so it is my favorite “first kiss” photo of their ceremony!
I hope these tips help you plan the most amazing ceremony!
Feel free to contact me at any time via e-mail with any questions you may have about how to customize your ceremony to reflect your personalities, or for further ideas on how to get even more creative!
Dom and I photograph around 30-40 weddings every year, so we are constantly getting inspiration from all of the amazing couples we work with and we love to spread our experience to new couples who are just starting the planning process or even to couples who are well into the wedding planning process and just want to put the final touches on an incredible wedding they have laid out.
Education is a huge part of the bridal experience we offer our Kate Holt Photography Brides and Couples, so if you haven’t found a photographer yet for your wedding and are looking for someone who will go the extra mile to help you plan the perfect wedding, drop us a note, we’d love to chat to see if we are a good fit!
Have a wedding photography question? have a general Wedding question?
Feel free to contact us! We love to help!
