5 Unexpected Ways to Reduce Stress on your Wedding Day
Most people know that your wedding day is one of the happiest days of your relationship so far. But, it is also a day with a lot of components and this can create moments of stress amid the joy and happiness. Many of these moments come from unexpected places that catch even the most organized couples by surprise.
After being an intimate part of hundreds of weddings as a wedding photographer I’ve learned the little things that can set off these moments of stress. When I am doing my final timeline chats with my Kate Holt Brides I warn them of these common things so that their day rolls smoothly and with as little stress as possible!
I wanted to make the data I’ve gained from all my experiences with weddings available for more than just my clients however, so I put together this blog of stress-preventing tips for your wedding day!
These aren’t your normal- “have a timeline and stick to it” tips, these are the odd things that you wouldn’t know to look out for unless you’ve been in hundreds of weddings! I’m pretty sure there isn’t any bride out there who has had hundreds of weddings before, and for a lot of you this is your first one, so take a look at these tips and save yourself some moments of stress on your big day!
Reduce Stress Tip #1
Print off a copy of your photography timeline and tape it to the wall of your getting ready area.
For your wedding day you’ll have up to three different timelines. If you have a coordinator, they will make one master timeline which has all the details of when every single vendor is showing up and what each one is doing and for how long. This is a GIANT timeline that has WAY more information on it than you will actually need on your wedding day. This timeline is for the coordinator or venue host to make sure all the behind the scenes pieces get put in exactly the right place for your day to happen without a hitch.
Another timeline you might have is mainly for your DJ and includes the specific timeline of your reception. Items on this timeline would include when the grand entrance is supposed to be, when dinner will start to be served, when toasts should begin and the start time of various reception activities such as dances, cake cutting and bouquet toss.
The third timeline and probably the most important timeline for you, your wedding party and your family is the photography timeline. And no, I’m not just saying this because I’m a photographer! I’m saying this because the photography timeline tells you, your wedding party and your family where they need to be and WHEN.
Your photography timeline is the simplest timeline for people to follow on your wedding day because it says when photos start for which group of people, when the ceremony is, and when the post-ceremony photos are and with which people.
Want to know the #1 questions the bride gets asked over and over on the morning of her wedding day? “What time are photos? What time do we have to be ready for photos? Am I in the family photos, what time are those?” Before I started suggesting Brides use this tip, I would hear this question over and over all morning by all the different groups of people who are closest to the bride.
Obviously, if your photographer is present when those questions are asked, they can help answer, but let’s say your photographer is off in a different room, photographing detail shots of your shoes, shooting your groomsmen, or taking candids of your bridesmaids popping some champaign? One of the biggest frustrations from Brides is getting these questions asked all morning of her as it grates on her a) to be asked the same question by a bunch of different people and b) to be asked a question she for sure has told them the answer to in the past either in an e-mail or conversation at the rehearsal dinner.
The best way to avoid this is just to print out a copy of the photography timeline and post it to the wall in a common space so when people start asking that question you can direct them to the timeline! People will start to go straight to the posted schedule instead of asking you and they can even snap photos of it with their phone and send it to family who might be asking when they need to arrive and where they will be meeting.
It’s a very simple thing, but try it out! I guarantee you’ll be thankful you did!
Reduce Stress Tip #2
Have your seamstress re-enforce any hook and eye clasps on your dress.
This is a super odd thing that I wouldn’t have believed was a common cause of stress had I not worked in the wedding industry and been with hundreds of brides during that intimate moment when they don their wedding dress!
Some wedding dresses have zippers up the back, and when this is the case in order to secure the back of the dress and prevent the zipper from working its way unzipped during all the moving a bride will do on her wedding day, there is very commonly a “hook and eye” clasp at the top of the zipper.
You wouldn’t believe how often that eye part of the clasp falls off somehow in the transportation and donning of the dress! And talk about an immediate moment of stress! Can you imagine, you slip on your dress, you are all excited to see your finished wedding look and as your maid of honor or mom zips you up and goes to clasp the final hook- THERE IS NO EYE IN WHICH TO PLACE THE HOOK!
Panic sets in just a bit as you realize that without that eye, the zipper could work its way down and your dress could quite literally start to fall off your body as you walk down the aisle!
Now, in all the weddings that I have been to where this wardrobe malfunction has occurred, someone has gotten ingenious and a solution has been found, but it was certainly a very scary and stressful moment for the bride until that solution was in place!
Moments like these I wouldn’t wish on anyone, so if your dress has this particular aspect to it, just do yourself a favor and ask your seamstress to reinforce it while she does your alterations and you will have nothing to worry about!
Reduce Stress Tip #3
Practice bustling your dress the night before your wedding
There are two places where a wedding timeline tends to break down, taking more time than you believe it will and therefore creating a more stressful day. One is during the getting ready phase of the day (see my getting ready tips and tricks blog here for more details on this) and the other is right before the grand entrance to the reception. The delay getting to your reception is usually caused by one of two things, and one of those things is that the bustling of the dress is confusing and takes longer than planned!
One thing to know about wedding dresses is that each dress is bustled differently. Sometimes if you get your dress altered to fit your body perfectly, the seamstress will end up putting the bustle in, so when you go to do your final fitting, bring along a bridesmaid with you and have the seamstress show her just how the bustle is done. Then, the evening of your rehearsal dinner, hang the dress up and have your bridesmaid practice the bustle once more so she really understands how it is done. This will save you so much time and headache later on, let me tell you what! It can be quite stressful to your family or friends who jump in to try to help bustle your dress while the time ticks away and your grand entrance gets later and later!
Avoiding stress in those around you helps make the day more relaxed for yourself, so doing this simple little step is a great way to make this transition to your reception smooth and relaxed.
Reduce Stress Tip #4
Fill Out Your Marriage License Before Your Wedding Day
Wondering what the other number one thing is that causes a stressful delay to the start of your reception? Believe it or not, it’s filling out the marriage license!
Many couples may not know this, but filling out a marriage license is a lot more than a few signatures. Many people forget to allot any time in their wedding day timeline for this part of the day or if they do remember they estimate it will only take about 5 minutes. If you don’t take the time to fill out the majority of your license beforehand I guarantee it will take closer to 15 or even 20 minutes!
To avoid this you can do a few things. With your license, you have to pick up your packet of license paperwork prior to your wedding. In this packet will be a legal document that your officiant will usually send into the state that looks like a boring legal form. This form is quick to fill out as it is mainly just the signatures of your officiant and witnesses.
There is also a ceremonial license that many couples wish to get photos of. Filling out this one is what usually takes longer than anticipated. Included on this ceremonial document is usually not just the name and signature of your witnesses but also their addresses, the county in which you got married and a myriad of other information.
If you take the time to fill all of the information out beforehand and only have the spots for signatures left, then your license signing will take only seconds. Plus, filling out everything before lets you choose what type of handwriting is on your certificate!
I’ve seen couples take their certificates to a calligraphist and have them fill out all the details so it looks gorgeous when they later hang it on the wall, so feel free to get really creative with this too!
Adding this step to your pre-wedding day checklist is a simple way to ensure that your timeline runs per schedule and gives you a relaxed, stress-free start to your reception!
Reduce Stress Tip #5
Do a Trial Hair and Makeup Run!
Your hair and makeup are a big part of your final wedding day look and most of us have a pretty specific vision in mind. Or, if you don’t have a specific idea of what you want on your wedding day, I’ll bet you have specific ideas of what you WOULDN’T want for your hair and makeup, am I right?
Well, the best way to not take a gamble on this is to schedule a trial run! Most anestheticians include this trial run in their bridal packages as they know how much stress comes from creating a look the bride is displeased with on her wedding day.
I’ve literally seen brides return from the salon to their getting ready space with tears in their eyes, walk straight to the bathroom and wash off all the makeup that their stylist just spent the last hour doing! When this happens, stress builds, as now the bride has to somehow manage to re-do her makeup and get into her dress in the amount of time which was only allotted to dressing.
More times than I care to admit I’ve seen brides turn to their moms or maids of honor once their makeup artist leaves the room and exclaim that they don’t like the shade of their lips, or that the foundation was put on too heavy.
A trial run handles all of that. Instead of being forced to make the decision of living with a look you don’t love, or washing it off and re-starting, putting your entire wedding day timeline in jeopardy, working out all the color kinks with your stylist in a relaxed environment prior to your wedding is 100% the way to go.
I would especially caution brides who are more minimalist and prefer a more natural look to consider scheduling a trial run. Some makeup artists are great at the natural look, while others just prefer a more bold statement and so even if they say they can do a natural look, the definition of “natural” for them could be way over the top for you!
Scheduling a trial run is a wonderful way for you to start your wedding day off on the right foot, feeling confident and beautiful with your wedding look!
I hope that you found these tips unique and useful and that it brought up some situations you hadn’t previously considered.
As a wedding photographer, I love going above and beyond for my Kate Holt Photography Brides and one of the ways I strive to do this is through education. If you enjoyed this blog I’ve many others in my Wedding Education and Tips and Tricks series, so feel free to browse around and learn as much as you can!
Even with all the tips in the world however, remember that your wedding is still a BIG day with LOTS of moving parts. Surrounding yourself with vendors you trust to not freak out or get stressed themselves when the unexpected happens (Like a groom being three hours late! Yeah, that happened to a Bride of mine once yikes!) is the most effective thing you can do for a stress-free wedding.
If you are looking for a photographer who will be your rock when things get shaky, drop me a note. I’d love to chat about your wedding, get to know you and see if we are the right fit.
Happy planning and have a wonderful wedding day!
